ODYSSEYCounseling and Therapy                   Mike Binks, MEd, LPC, CADC 3

Relationships need constant care.

Remember how you felt when you first began to date each other?  Most people find it easy to show affection, appreciation, and to give their partners the benefit of the doubt during the initial stages of the relationship.  It's a time when possibilities seem endless, romance seems easy, sex seems spicy, and you both make the most of one another's company.  You're not alone if you find yourselves wishing you could get those feelings back.

As the relationship moves beyond its initial stages, more family responsibilities and opportunities for conflict inevitably arise, and these conflicts often bring you both to fear that your partner may be holding you back from realizing your dreams or from being your true self.  Left unchecked, this type of negative lense can have you viewing each other as opponents rather than teammates, leading you to feel frustrated, confused, angry, lonely, distant, and unfulfilled. If you've been feeling this way for a while, you've likely made some hurtful decisions or said some hurtful things you wish you could take back.  Sounds pretty bleak, huh?  Don't give up!  With a committed and concerted effort from both of you, you can turn things around! 

Conflict brings opportunity for growth, refinement, and deeper intimacy!

When you move below your argument of right now to see how it may be a symbol of underlying issues or fears, you open up an exciting new world in which you can come to know yourselves and each other as the resilient, fragile, beautiful people you are.  When you've created enough safety to let your fears and dreams be known and honored by one another, the stage can be set for pursuing those dreams, both as individuals and as a couple. 

Couple Therapy can help you to:

• Work through the frustration, anger, loneliness, distance, and lack of fulfillment that may have seeped into your relationship over time 
• Improve and practice effective communication skills
• Increase your awareness of one another's subtle requests for emotional connection, and respond positively to those requests
• Move beyond gridlock, to handle your conflicts in a gentle, positive way
• Create enough emotional safety to offer apologies and forgiveness that are heartfelt
• Implement a structured plan of action, to ensure you have opportunities to increase friendship, romance, intimacy, self-expression, and conflict regulation
• Understand each other on a deeper level
• Support one another's dreams and self-exploration

Unanswered questions about couple therapy?

Call or e-mail anytime to talk about specific questions or needs you may have as a couple.

Phone (503) 740-0573 or e-mail Mike.